There’s Good Reasons

Time is so precious as you age, and I’m not so sure that is a good or bad thing. Twenty four hours is never enough and it can seem so long, too. It’s all a matter of which emotion is in the driver’s seat any the given time of reflection. I don’t have time for high-school-type friendships where all you do is get together and bitch about others and how nothing seems to go your way. I have all the time in the world to deeply connect with others and thankfully that list is pretty short these days, making the connection all the more thick.
I don’t have time to write blogs too much, because on-line views have been replaced for professor-views. Maybe I will post a paper on here…maybe I won’t even remember to. My attention is thrown in so many directions that I truly, truly feel decentralized, out of control, overwhelmed, and at times paralyzed. The lack of guidance at my school is disappointing for someone whose interests are so separated by institutional-categorization. Furthermore, I am finding myself disgusted with the idea that I can study another religion, say “this is what this means and how it relates to the psychological needs of humanity” without really engaging in the religion myself. It’s a Western privilege to spend our time on these matters; and, it’s an obvious manifestation that there is a lack of personal religion that we need to go and study up on others and trivialize the religious validity of its adherers with our own post-secular, post-modern agenda, which ends up turning on itself. So much shit is being written and talked of today; Mother Earth would make us wash our mouths out with soap.

A friend recently went off on me because I told them I don’t know what “who I am means” (my older brother did the same, too). I should have been more careful as to who I disclose such matters to. Just like I should be careful as to what I write. God forbid a bit of honesty get out on a system that broods deceit.
Like several friends I have.

But the reasons that might be good for my discontent all seem superfluous as I gaze at the workings within and realize that it’s my lack of attention to those I love that gets me in situations where all I do is replicate trendy hipster magazines that dog on “normal” society. As if me and my ego-centralized concerns really mattered. The only time I think they do is when they get out of alignment with the larger responsibility of living in harmony with the Life that is within and around this body I exist in.
Too bad you often need a doctor to get re-aligned, and I don’t have health insurance.